I was sitting in training the other day and I actually felt like I was in an episode on Muppet Babies when the Nanny comes in to talk. Waaa…waaa…waankidy….waaa. Yep, that’s all I heard after about 30 minutes into this half day adventure. And then the facilitator said something really profound and I snapped back to reality for at least 10 minutes before I started writing this blog in my head. Anywho, he said (and I quote him loosely…I told you I wasn’t really paying attention) “When we are young we are afraid of the dark because of what it may hide. As adults we often fear the light because of what it may expose.”
What are you afraid of having exposed?? Hmmm, that’s a list I know many of you would die to see. I know some others who would die if it ever surfaced. But this is about me and my journey so pipe down. I won’t put you on blast…at least not today. LOL So I considered this in the context of my weight loss and the “new” me. I am fresh off of a clothing purge that was emotionally draining. Imagine waking up one day and losing all of your things. Dramatic…maybe a little, but that’s what it felt like. All the clothes I have accumulated over the years, the attachments formed with certain pieces, the memories tied to certain outfits, my favorite things…gone. I know you may think that I should be happy to get rid of these things knowing that it’s a place I’ll never go back to. And while there is a part of me that is excited by that, there is another piece of me that grieved over this loss. I get all of that “what really matters is what’s on the inside” crap, but some part of me manifested externally in my style. No my clothes didn’t define me, but they were a part of who I am. So you’re probably asking yourself where is she going with this? All of this forced me to think about what I’ve been hiding and why the role that my clothes have played in perpetuating the issues I have with my body. Those of you who know me well know that I have pretty much been overweight my entire life. I don’t remember a time when I was “average” size. I do recall that from the time I was allowed to pick out my own clothes that I shopped in the men’s section. Contrary to popular belief it has nothing to do with sexuality nor is it because guys just have cool clothes (ok maybe that’s a part of it). It was because I wanted to hide my body. I found early on that men’s clothes just fit me in a way that I felt more comfortable. I never had to worry about things being too tight or bulging out of garments. They just fit the way I liked. So you’re likely to find me perusing the men’s section in my favorite stores to this day.
Stay away from the light A.Tann…LOL.
I like to think that I have a pretty strong sense of self and a healthy self-esteem, but we all have our issues. And despite being heavy I never disliked my body. I was always solid…full even. Now over 60 pounds down and I find myself looking in the mirror, watching my body mass deteriorate, examining the changes and I’m struggling with what the light is exposing. The extra skin…the lack of definition…the curves that used to be but are no longer. What am I supposed to do with this new body that isn’t nearly as proportional as I would like it to be? The gym will get some things in order. However, I will inevitably end up getting some things nipped and tucked into place. Until then I’m going to have to work on being ok with myself.
Stepping into the light…Exposed!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
525,600 minutes
You don't look a day older than 25...and that's because I'm not. Ha, I know, wishful thinking. Yesterday marked my 11,315th day on this earth. Math skills a little shabby?? That's 31 years folk. So as I reflected on the year that has passed since the last milestone was hit I instantly thought about all the trails and tribulations the year brought. And then I forced myself to reframe my thinking and dwell on the positive things that have occurred and the lessons learned from the more trying times. And as I opened my eyes on that beautiful Saturday morning and took in all the blessings that have been placed before me all I could do was smile. I spent the day surrounded by family and great friends. I was reminded of how by just being yourself you can sometimes touch the lives of others without even realizing it. We place so much value on material things when sometimes a simple hug goes a long way. A friend of mine wrote to me "Happy birthday beautiful! You have taken some great steps toward loving you so may God continue to bless this personal journey that you are on to peace, happiness, and love." And that is so reflective of exactly what I found in my 30th year. I discovered the ability to love myself unconditionally. Figured out that it is ok to put myself first and take care of my needs without feeling guilty about it. And in doing so not neglecting the needs of others just not making them a priority in my life. And so my journey to peace, happiness, and love continues.
525,600 minutes how do you measure a year in life? No matter how you count it up make the most of each moment. Here's to the best 525,600 minutes of my life as I embark on yet another year. I can't wait to see whats in store.
#NUFFSAID
525,600 minutes how do you measure a year in life? No matter how you count it up make the most of each moment. Here's to the best 525,600 minutes of my life as I embark on yet another year. I can't wait to see whats in store.
#NUFFSAID
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Bitter Sweet
Alright so my two week post op appointment went well. Incisions healed and 20 pounds lost so I was riding high until I hit mid week and I dumped for the first time. What is dumping you may ask...
Dumping syndrome, or rapid gastric emptying, is a combination of symptoms that occur when an overly large meal, or a meal high in fat or sugar is consumed by a weight loss surgery patient. The meal is "dumped" into the small intestine when the stomach empties quickly, causing feelings of nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach gas, racing heart, cramps and cold sweats.
So yea, even after I vowed to never let this happen to me. It did and I thought I was going to die. First of all I ate some dang greek yogurt with fruit on the bottom and I guess I didn't mix it well enough so the sugar concentration was too high and my body had to reject it. Nothing like being on the toilet, throwing up and sweating bullets. Uggghh, I don't know how people intentionally do this to themselves by continuing to eat things they are not supposed to.
For the first time since I had surgery I actually had to ask myself what I have gotten into. But after about 30 minutes I returned to a coherent state and I was able to get myself together. They say that everyone experiences this at least once. I'm going to pray that this was my first and last time. In the meantime, my next appointment is next week and I will keep you all posted.
Dumping syndrome, or rapid gastric emptying, is a combination of symptoms that occur when an overly large meal, or a meal high in fat or sugar is consumed by a weight loss surgery patient. The meal is "dumped" into the small intestine when the stomach empties quickly, causing feelings of nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach gas, racing heart, cramps and cold sweats.
So yea, even after I vowed to never let this happen to me. It did and I thought I was going to die. First of all I ate some dang greek yogurt with fruit on the bottom and I guess I didn't mix it well enough so the sugar concentration was too high and my body had to reject it. Nothing like being on the toilet, throwing up and sweating bullets. Uggghh, I don't know how people intentionally do this to themselves by continuing to eat things they are not supposed to.
For the first time since I had surgery I actually had to ask myself what I have gotten into. But after about 30 minutes I returned to a coherent state and I was able to get myself together. They say that everyone experiences this at least once. I'm going to pray that this was my first and last time. In the meantime, my next appointment is next week and I will keep you all posted.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Something old...Something New
Who would’ve guessed that nearly a year has passed since I began this journey and here we go. I am one day away from having surgery that will drastically change my life in so many ways. Are you ready? A question that I have been asked countless times over the past few days. My response, as ready as I’m going to get. I mean can you ever really mentally or emotionally prepare for something that changes life as you have known it for the past 30 years in a little over an hour. I mean I’ve done the research, been to numerous doctors for clearances, attended support groups, and even made it through this grueling pre-op diet yet I still can’t quite wrap my head around what all of this means.
So I started this entry on the day before surgery and just really couldn’t find the words to finish it. Now here I am 5 days post op and I’m going to give it a go again. Where do I begin…
Surgery? What surgery??
When I posted that I was home from the hospital and doing well many people sent their well wishes along with questions about why I had surgery and if I was ok. The questions didn’t catch me off guard, but I found myself grappling with the appropriate way to answer. Should I respond individually or just post a blanket fb status with the details. Until now I have just left the questions unanswered. Not that it’s some big secret or I’m embarrassed just needed to find a time and forum that was appropriate for me. So again you are probably wondering…what is it? LOL Now I’m just prolonging my disclosure so you will continue reading. I crack me up. Anywho, on June 27th I had gastric bypass. Shocked? Yea, I know. I opted to only share this with my immediate family and a few close friends for several reasons. First, I didn’t want to answer a bunch of questions or potentially deal with folk who weren’t supportive. I only wanted positive energy surrounding me during this journey. Second, I needed to ensure that this was actually going to go down. I always consider the worst case scenario like what if I can’t get all of the clearances or my insurance denies the request. It would have been much easier to cope with a denial if the whole world didn’t know. By now I know many of you may be asking why? The most common response I have gotten is…”You aren’t even that big!” However, I am and regardless of how my body carries the excess weight I need to get it off and am looking to make lifestyle changes to be healthier down the line. A major misconception is that weight loss surgery is a quick fix. Actually, it’s not and is simply a tool to aid you in the process. Without dedication and commitment to forever changes the surgery will be ineffective. Good thing I choose a program that in addition to monthly support groups also offers a lifetime of follow up with the nutritionist, nurses, and doctor.
Second Thoughts
There are few things that I remember from the minutes leading up to surgery. However, I do remember thinking what the hell am I doing as I was waiting to be wheeled into the operating room. Months of preparation didn’t prepare me for those few seconds of uncertainty and anticipation. It’s kind of scary for a complete life change to be so tangible and in your face. So I sucked up those butterflies, prayed, and did some breathing exercises to calm myself down and shifted myself from the stretcher to the operating table. The last thing I remember was the doctor injecting the “good stuff” into my IV and looking up at the lights above the OR table and thinking to myself…this is just like the movies.
Hospital Hysteria
The next thing I recall is waking up in the recovery room. An area for folk who are just out of surgery and waiting for the anesthesia to wear off and prior to transfer to a permanent room. The pain was intense. Now I have a high threshold for pain and even though I have never given birth I would say this pain was very closely related to labor pains. SN: In that moment I also thought if this is what childbirth feels like…I’m good. The nurse came over and gave me some morphine along with the button to self-medicate every 8 minutes and I was back in heaven. Until, the woman in the next bed woke from her slumber screaming and moaning. And you all know my first response…I CAN’T!! lol She needed to be moved asaply because she was intruding on my peace. I had just enough strength to turn my head in her direction and shoot a death stare. Yup, I’m back!!
I hoped the transfer to my room would allow me to find that serenity again, but just my luck I had to share with yet another character. I am not sure what it is about me, but I must have a sign that says tell me your life story…I’m listening because in a matter of hours I knew her entire life story. I’ve got to do better at turning this off when I am not working. I guess I can actually give her credit for assisting in my recovery because I had to get away or risk being talked to death. NURSE…I think I’m ready to walk. And there I was 5 hours after surgery walking the halls with my butt out and IV in tow. I didn’t even care.
Now what?
So, I was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday and I’ve been trying my best to resist cabin fever ever since. My friends have been really good about rescuing me from these 4 walls and I get out to walk the dog several times a day. I am feeling great and down to only taking pain meds once a day. I’ll be on a liquid diet for the next 3 weeks. Yay for me. Lol By day 3 I was over chicken broth. Something has got to give. I will be able to introduce some additional liquids next week so I’m looking forward to that. In the meantime, I fight the psychological food battle that still goes on in my head. TV commercials, BBQs, trips to malls past the smell of food courts…it’s all a test. I’m embracing these challenges and thanking God for this resiliency and a great support system.
Speaking of a great support system, many of my friends have decided to embark on this journey with me. Not necessarily having surgery, but just learning more about this process and what it means. They have made the decision to become healthier along with me by eating better and becoming exercise buddies. I will continue to update my progress in the goings on in my life in this blog. We will also be blogging these experiences, having discussions and answering questions in another blog Through Thick and Thin. Read it, Like it, Friend it...Whatever.
http://friendsthroughitall.blogspot.com/
Sn: There is nothing posted yet. We are working on that.
So I started this entry on the day before surgery and just really couldn’t find the words to finish it. Now here I am 5 days post op and I’m going to give it a go again. Where do I begin…
Surgery? What surgery??
When I posted that I was home from the hospital and doing well many people sent their well wishes along with questions about why I had surgery and if I was ok. The questions didn’t catch me off guard, but I found myself grappling with the appropriate way to answer. Should I respond individually or just post a blanket fb status with the details. Until now I have just left the questions unanswered. Not that it’s some big secret or I’m embarrassed just needed to find a time and forum that was appropriate for me. So again you are probably wondering…what is it? LOL Now I’m just prolonging my disclosure so you will continue reading. I crack me up. Anywho, on June 27th I had gastric bypass. Shocked? Yea, I know. I opted to only share this with my immediate family and a few close friends for several reasons. First, I didn’t want to answer a bunch of questions or potentially deal with folk who weren’t supportive. I only wanted positive energy surrounding me during this journey. Second, I needed to ensure that this was actually going to go down. I always consider the worst case scenario like what if I can’t get all of the clearances or my insurance denies the request. It would have been much easier to cope with a denial if the whole world didn’t know. By now I know many of you may be asking why? The most common response I have gotten is…”You aren’t even that big!” However, I am and regardless of how my body carries the excess weight I need to get it off and am looking to make lifestyle changes to be healthier down the line. A major misconception is that weight loss surgery is a quick fix. Actually, it’s not and is simply a tool to aid you in the process. Without dedication and commitment to forever changes the surgery will be ineffective. Good thing I choose a program that in addition to monthly support groups also offers a lifetime of follow up with the nutritionist, nurses, and doctor.
Second Thoughts
There are few things that I remember from the minutes leading up to surgery. However, I do remember thinking what the hell am I doing as I was waiting to be wheeled into the operating room. Months of preparation didn’t prepare me for those few seconds of uncertainty and anticipation. It’s kind of scary for a complete life change to be so tangible and in your face. So I sucked up those butterflies, prayed, and did some breathing exercises to calm myself down and shifted myself from the stretcher to the operating table. The last thing I remember was the doctor injecting the “good stuff” into my IV and looking up at the lights above the OR table and thinking to myself…this is just like the movies.
Hospital Hysteria
The next thing I recall is waking up in the recovery room. An area for folk who are just out of surgery and waiting for the anesthesia to wear off and prior to transfer to a permanent room. The pain was intense. Now I have a high threshold for pain and even though I have never given birth I would say this pain was very closely related to labor pains. SN: In that moment I also thought if this is what childbirth feels like…I’m good. The nurse came over and gave me some morphine along with the button to self-medicate every 8 minutes and I was back in heaven. Until, the woman in the next bed woke from her slumber screaming and moaning. And you all know my first response…I CAN’T!! lol She needed to be moved asaply because she was intruding on my peace. I had just enough strength to turn my head in her direction and shoot a death stare. Yup, I’m back!!
I hoped the transfer to my room would allow me to find that serenity again, but just my luck I had to share with yet another character. I am not sure what it is about me, but I must have a sign that says tell me your life story…I’m listening because in a matter of hours I knew her entire life story. I’ve got to do better at turning this off when I am not working. I guess I can actually give her credit for assisting in my recovery because I had to get away or risk being talked to death. NURSE…I think I’m ready to walk. And there I was 5 hours after surgery walking the halls with my butt out and IV in tow. I didn’t even care.
Now what?
So, I was discharged from the hospital on Wednesday and I’ve been trying my best to resist cabin fever ever since. My friends have been really good about rescuing me from these 4 walls and I get out to walk the dog several times a day. I am feeling great and down to only taking pain meds once a day. I’ll be on a liquid diet for the next 3 weeks. Yay for me. Lol By day 3 I was over chicken broth. Something has got to give. I will be able to introduce some additional liquids next week so I’m looking forward to that. In the meantime, I fight the psychological food battle that still goes on in my head. TV commercials, BBQs, trips to malls past the smell of food courts…it’s all a test. I’m embracing these challenges and thanking God for this resiliency and a great support system.
Speaking of a great support system, many of my friends have decided to embark on this journey with me. Not necessarily having surgery, but just learning more about this process and what it means. They have made the decision to become healthier along with me by eating better and becoming exercise buddies. I will continue to update my progress in the goings on in my life in this blog. We will also be blogging these experiences, having discussions and answering questions in another blog Through Thick and Thin. Read it, Like it, Friend it...Whatever.
http://friendsthroughitall.blogspot.com/
Sn: There is nothing posted yet. We are working on that.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Navigating Networks and such
Wow, I just realized that I have not blogged in several weeks. That doesn't mean that there hasn't been lots of stuff going on. Where to begin?? So, world I've been "defriended" on facebook. LOL I know it sounds silly, but my feelings were/are kinda hurt. I had to check myself, like really Alonda?? It's fb. I myself have done the clean sweep where I go through my friends list and remove folk who I "know but don't really know", people who I don't want to be associated with or who are no longer relevant fixtures in my life, and those who I just don't want to have access to my page. A cleanse/purge of sorts. That being said, I don't know why my panties were all in a bunch when I realized I had been a causality of someone else's purge. I guess it's because this one was personal and there is no more finality to the ending of a relationship then a social network defriending. Now I completely understand why this is a billion dollar industry. People are not just using social networks to network, reunite with high school buddies, or stay in touch with "friends". They are emotionally invested in these connections. I never understood before why 90% of the conflicts between my students stems from fb, why people have been killed over status updates, or how virtual bullying occurs until now. And I know some of you are thinking that all of this is happening because fb should have stayed a site for college students. Fact is, we don't conduct ourselves any better on fb than my 7th graders. At least many of them have parental supervision. We have become so dependant on maintaining our virtual friendships, updating statuses, and posting pictures that our "real" friendships have suffered. When was the last time you called an old buddy just to catch up instead of posting to their wall that you miss them and you need to catch up soon (something that never happens by the way)?? I'm guilty of this myself. It's almost sickening. I stayed off of fb for several weeks and it was so hard. I felt so isolated and disconnected from my world. Things were happening with my real life friends that I didn't know about because I wasn't checking updates, parties and events were going on in the city and I had no way of getting the info, people who have my cell phone number were trying to get in contact with me and couldn't?? LOL It's kind of ridiculous, but this is the way of the world now I suppose. I don't know about you, but I'm taking a stand...I can't give so much power/influence to things this trivial. I leaving any residual feelings right here in this text box. Happy friending folks :)
On to real life tangible friendships...can someone please give me insight on the selfish nature of friendships? I've been trying to process why it is that folks can be so selfish and if they cannot have a friendship with you on their terms it's difficult for them. And I admit my own selfishness. I grew up as the baby in my household, always got my way and whatever I wanted...somethings never change. However, I think I have learned to be compromising in my friendships. Especially the ones that I value. Boundaries are good in maintaining the longevity of a friendship and I just don't even know where else to go with this one. Perhaps boys and girls (gender being interpreted however you like) just can't have mutually platonic friendships. I was speaking with a psychologist the other day regarding weight loss surgery and I asked him why people become depressed after surgery. There were several reasons, but the point he made that stood out and made me a little sad was that the current state of some of your relationships is contingent upon you being fat. And as you change those relationship dynamics change as well and this can cause some friendships/relationships to end. I guess this can be applicable to any type of personal growth or change. There are going to be relationships that are sustainable through that change and those that are not. Only time will tell.
I rode past a church yesterday and their banner said Challenged by Faith, Guided by God. Pretty much sums up my feelings today. Happy Sunday folks.
On to real life tangible friendships...can someone please give me insight on the selfish nature of friendships? I've been trying to process why it is that folks can be so selfish and if they cannot have a friendship with you on their terms it's difficult for them. And I admit my own selfishness. I grew up as the baby in my household, always got my way and whatever I wanted...somethings never change. However, I think I have learned to be compromising in my friendships. Especially the ones that I value. Boundaries are good in maintaining the longevity of a friendship and I just don't even know where else to go with this one. Perhaps boys and girls (gender being interpreted however you like) just can't have mutually platonic friendships. I was speaking with a psychologist the other day regarding weight loss surgery and I asked him why people become depressed after surgery. There were several reasons, but the point he made that stood out and made me a little sad was that the current state of some of your relationships is contingent upon you being fat. And as you change those relationship dynamics change as well and this can cause some friendships/relationships to end. I guess this can be applicable to any type of personal growth or change. There are going to be relationships that are sustainable through that change and those that are not. Only time will tell.
I rode past a church yesterday and their banner said Challenged by Faith, Guided by God. Pretty much sums up my feelings today. Happy Sunday folks.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Traces of Myself
Oh Eric...perhaps it's rather egocentric of me to believe that this song was crafted specifically for me as I am sure there are plenty of folk out there who can relate. Whether a break up has happened 2 years, 2 months, or 2 days ago there are pieces of us that hold on. I have often found myself considering time travel and examining the things I would change and/or do differently if given a chance to rewind time. Instead I've found myself on a different type of journey...one that has me seriously reflecting on my inability to love. Ok, that's a little extreme so let me say my inability to love completely. And what I have discovered is that with every ending, with every heartbreak or failed relationship I love a little less. In the realm of defense mechanisms I suppose this is an appropriate adaptation. In the realm of happiness not so much. Is it ever possible to experience that pure unfiltered "all in" type of love after being jaded by your past experiences?? Does this mean that when my life partner/soulmate is introduced to my life that I won't be able to receive them??
So the search for answers begin. I've talked to friends, read some articles and books, even considered another stint of counseling which is still an option, but nothing gave me the answers I was looking for. Until I remembered a sermon I watched on youtube a few months back after a fb friend posted it on his page. In it Juanita Bynum, who some of you may be familiar with, speaks to a group of singles (women specifically) regarding their inability to have successful relationships. I use the term successful loosely based on what her perception of successful is in this piece. Anywho, despite some of my resistance to internalizing anything that comes out of an often hypocritical and homophobic world of organized religion I found myself intrigued by this...
"until you get delivered in your spirit from all of the rest of the people you've been with...you're not ready"
Simply stated and oh so true. So much time is often spent comparing your current situation to those in the past. Making attempts to protect yourself from experiencing those hurts over again. So much so that you find yourself never loving completely and sometimes pushing good people out of your life. I had to laugh to myself because no less than a week ago I said that I was going into "asshole" mode. Meaning that I was going to start being selfish, disregarding others feelings and emotions, and giving way less of myself than I have in the past. I didn't even have to test drive asshole to realize it's not for me. That may work for some, but there's another way for me. And on that note I'm challenging myself to one day experience that "all-in" type of love again. Are you up for the challenge??
I'm not embedding the sermon, but if you want to check it out here's the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbHJhLWj2oA&playnext=1&list=PL46171A834B24B787
Peace & Blessings Lovely People
Friday, January 21, 2011
No,No,No,No,No...
Images of Beyonce and Destiny's Child waving their fingers in the air came to mind as my nutritionist ran down the list of No's. In case you need an update, I am strongly considering, probably about 83% set on, having gastric bypass surgery this summer. With that comes a whole lifestyle change that is both exciting and frightening at the same time. I have days where I am all in followed closely by bursts of anxiety and thoughts of calling the whole thing off. More often than not, the positives far outweigh the negatives and so I forge forward in this process. One thing I can appreciate is that my doctor doesn't just rush folk into surgery and there are a series of medical and psychological clearances as well as personal goals/changes that must be met prior to the procedure.
About the No's : /
My nutritionist is kinda hardcore. On my first visit she basically laid down the law like we're not going to bullshit or skate around the issues and I'm going to let you know day 1 what you will no longer be able to eat once this surgery is performed. This way you know what you're getting into and you can either get on board or back out now before we waste time. I can appreciate this approach because it forced me to examine my life and decide if this was right for me. So here's the list. Just imagine and see if this is something that you could do.
No drinking during a meal, 15 minutes before or 15 minutes after a meal.
I know it's kind of random, but basically your stomach size is going to be reduced significantly and you have to allow space to get food/nutrients into your system. If you drink immediately before, during, or after a meal there will be no space in your belly.
No Straws
Similar reason as the first. Straws allow air to get in the belly which can be extremely uncomfortable.
No Concentrated Sugar
Limits on the amount of sugar you can digest. And since there is sugar in just about everything this may be the most extreme change. That's no cake, no candy, no juice, basically nothing sweet. The part of your stomach that breaks down sugar will be diminished and you will be unable to break the sugars down. Result....sick, sick, sick. She assured me that everyone tries to sneak at least once and just once. The result is something called dumping. This can occur very quickly and basically your body will get the excess sugar out whatever way it can. That can mean being pushed out of every opening. Have you ever had a really bad stomach bug and had to sit on the toilet and hold a bucket at the same time? Yea...this is similar.
No Soda
Small belly + carbonated beverages = bad idea
No Caffeine
No Alcohol
Small belly + alcoholic beverages = drunk,drunk,drunk
So the part of your stomach that breaks down alcohol will be completely bypassed meaning any alcohol consumed is going to go straight into your system. Over time you may be able to tolerate a few sips or 1 drink but that could be years down the line.
Whew, that was as exhausting typing as it is thinking about on a daily basis.
About the No's : /
My nutritionist is kinda hardcore. On my first visit she basically laid down the law like we're not going to bullshit or skate around the issues and I'm going to let you know day 1 what you will no longer be able to eat once this surgery is performed. This way you know what you're getting into and you can either get on board or back out now before we waste time. I can appreciate this approach because it forced me to examine my life and decide if this was right for me. So here's the list. Just imagine and see if this is something that you could do.
No drinking during a meal, 15 minutes before or 15 minutes after a meal.
I know it's kind of random, but basically your stomach size is going to be reduced significantly and you have to allow space to get food/nutrients into your system. If you drink immediately before, during, or after a meal there will be no space in your belly.
No Straws
Similar reason as the first. Straws allow air to get in the belly which can be extremely uncomfortable.
No Concentrated Sugar
Limits on the amount of sugar you can digest. And since there is sugar in just about everything this may be the most extreme change. That's no cake, no candy, no juice, basically nothing sweet. The part of your stomach that breaks down sugar will be diminished and you will be unable to break the sugars down. Result....sick, sick, sick. She assured me that everyone tries to sneak at least once and just once. The result is something called dumping. This can occur very quickly and basically your body will get the excess sugar out whatever way it can. That can mean being pushed out of every opening. Have you ever had a really bad stomach bug and had to sit on the toilet and hold a bucket at the same time? Yea...this is similar.
No Soda
Small belly + carbonated beverages = bad idea
No Caffeine
No Alcohol
Small belly + alcoholic beverages = drunk,drunk,drunk
So the part of your stomach that breaks down alcohol will be completely bypassed meaning any alcohol consumed is going to go straight into your system. Over time you may be able to tolerate a few sips or 1 drink but that could be years down the line.
Whew, that was as exhausting typing as it is thinking about on a daily basis.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
On Gratitude...
So I've been resisting 3am blogs all week, but tonights/this mornings has been intruding on my sleepy thoughts all night. I was extremely intrigued as I'm sure many of you were by Mr. Ted Williams, the homeless man with the "Golden Voice", and his story of success to the slums to overnight sensation based on a viral youtube video that allowed him to display his talents. Now granted his story is amazing. Anyone who can overcome an addiction gets my applause. However, I was more touched by his enthusiasm, his words, and most of all his sense of gratitude at being given another chance at life. In particular, there was a segment on the Today show where he was asked what would be different this time around. Apparently he has wavered many past opportunities because of irresponsibility and drug use, but he assured the world that things would be different this time. Why?? Because of his relationship with God and most importantly because he vowed to always remember where his blessings came from and to give thanks each and every day. Now those of you who know me know that I'm not an outrageously religious person...more spiritual and devoted to my own personal relationship with a higher being but there was something about the genuiness of his answer that touched me. And his response wasn't prescripted and it wasn't typical addict babble...not meaning to sound harsh, but those of you who have worked with addicts know what I'm talking about. It was spontaneous, thoughtful, and sincere so I thought...
When was the last time you gave thanks??
I had to ask myself this question and the fact that it took me several minutes (ok days) to come up with an answer was troubling. I've spent much of my time over the past several weeks/months/year dwelling on the things I don't have, what could be better in my life, the losses. So much so that I have forgotten to give thanks all the blessings I have been granted. At the end of the day I'm healthy, I have great family and friends, I have a wonderful career that allows me to do something I love, and I wake up every day with a sense of purpose. So from this day forth I am making it my personal quest to acknowledge what I am grateful for on a daily basis.
And right this second I am thankful for Sunday morning mimosas, steak, and eggs...lol
Good Day, Go Forth, Be Blessed, and Be Thankful.
When was the last time you gave thanks??
I had to ask myself this question and the fact that it took me several minutes (ok days) to come up with an answer was troubling. I've spent much of my time over the past several weeks/months/year dwelling on the things I don't have, what could be better in my life, the losses. So much so that I have forgotten to give thanks all the blessings I have been granted. At the end of the day I'm healthy, I have great family and friends, I have a wonderful career that allows me to do something I love, and I wake up every day with a sense of purpose. So from this day forth I am making it my personal quest to acknowledge what I am grateful for on a daily basis.
And right this second I am thankful for Sunday morning mimosas, steak, and eggs...lol
Good Day, Go Forth, Be Blessed, and Be Thankful.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
I Hope You Dance...
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
And so I'm cultivating my rain dance...
Apparently I have made it into 2011. I was rather numb when the literal transition occurred and even though I was surrounded by friends and festivities my mind was elsewhere. I have found myself in this space way more often than I'm like to admit...being a voyeur of sorts. I can be in a place surrounded by people and find myself feeling like an outsider, floating through the masses and peering into the lives of others. Sometimes its a really interesting place to be because I pick up on the things that make others tick, their quirks, or the things they do when they think no one is looking and I can usually get a little giggle out of it. On the other hand, it can also be a somewhat lonely and isolating place when I feel like I can't control it and it inhibits my ability to enjoy those around me. I've always lived inside my head just recognizing it more these days.
My friends have chastised me in the past for reverting into my shell when I'm dealing with a problem. I think it's difficult for people to understand that while I enjoy people and am often the center of attention that I am kind of an emotional introvert. I need to sit with my thoughts and feelings before I am ready to share outwardly. There's something about raw emotion that makes me uncomfortable. My processing style can be alienating but don't take it personal. Just know that I will reemerge a stronger, smarter, more mindful person than I was before.
So for now I'm internalizing...and choreographing my rain dance.
And so I'm cultivating my rain dance...
Apparently I have made it into 2011. I was rather numb when the literal transition occurred and even though I was surrounded by friends and festivities my mind was elsewhere. I have found myself in this space way more often than I'm like to admit...being a voyeur of sorts. I can be in a place surrounded by people and find myself feeling like an outsider, floating through the masses and peering into the lives of others. Sometimes its a really interesting place to be because I pick up on the things that make others tick, their quirks, or the things they do when they think no one is looking and I can usually get a little giggle out of it. On the other hand, it can also be a somewhat lonely and isolating place when I feel like I can't control it and it inhibits my ability to enjoy those around me. I've always lived inside my head just recognizing it more these days.
My friends have chastised me in the past for reverting into my shell when I'm dealing with a problem. I think it's difficult for people to understand that while I enjoy people and am often the center of attention that I am kind of an emotional introvert. I need to sit with my thoughts and feelings before I am ready to share outwardly. There's something about raw emotion that makes me uncomfortable. My processing style can be alienating but don't take it personal. Just know that I will reemerge a stronger, smarter, more mindful person than I was before.
So for now I'm internalizing...and choreographing my rain dance.
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