Wow, I just realized that I have not blogged in several weeks. That doesn't mean that there hasn't been lots of stuff going on. Where to begin?? So, world I've been "defriended" on facebook. LOL I know it sounds silly, but my feelings were/are kinda hurt. I had to check myself, like really Alonda?? It's fb. I myself have done the clean sweep where I go through my friends list and remove folk who I "know but don't really know", people who I don't want to be associated with or who are no longer relevant fixtures in my life, and those who I just don't want to have access to my page. A cleanse/purge of sorts. That being said, I don't know why my panties were all in a bunch when I realized I had been a causality of someone else's purge. I guess it's because this one was personal and there is no more finality to the ending of a relationship then a social network defriending. Now I completely understand why this is a billion dollar industry. People are not just using social networks to network, reunite with high school buddies, or stay in touch with "friends". They are emotionally invested in these connections. I never understood before why 90% of the conflicts between my students stems from fb, why people have been killed over status updates, or how virtual bullying occurs until now. And I know some of you are thinking that all of this is happening because fb should have stayed a site for college students. Fact is, we don't conduct ourselves any better on fb than my 7th graders. At least many of them have parental supervision. We have become so dependant on maintaining our virtual friendships, updating statuses, and posting pictures that our "real" friendships have suffered. When was the last time you called an old buddy just to catch up instead of posting to their wall that you miss them and you need to catch up soon (something that never happens by the way)?? I'm guilty of this myself. It's almost sickening. I stayed off of fb for several weeks and it was so hard. I felt so isolated and disconnected from my world. Things were happening with my real life friends that I didn't know about because I wasn't checking updates, parties and events were going on in the city and I had no way of getting the info, people who have my cell phone number were trying to get in contact with me and couldn't?? LOL It's kind of ridiculous, but this is the way of the world now I suppose. I don't know about you, but I'm taking a stand...I can't give so much power/influence to things this trivial. I leaving any residual feelings right here in this text box. Happy friending folks :)
On to real life tangible friendships...can someone please give me insight on the selfish nature of friendships? I've been trying to process why it is that folks can be so selfish and if they cannot have a friendship with you on their terms it's difficult for them. And I admit my own selfishness. I grew up as the baby in my household, always got my way and whatever I wanted...somethings never change. However, I think I have learned to be compromising in my friendships. Especially the ones that I value. Boundaries are good in maintaining the longevity of a friendship and I just don't even know where else to go with this one. Perhaps boys and girls (gender being interpreted however you like) just can't have mutually platonic friendships. I was speaking with a psychologist the other day regarding weight loss surgery and I asked him why people become depressed after surgery. There were several reasons, but the point he made that stood out and made me a little sad was that the current state of some of your relationships is contingent upon you being fat. And as you change those relationship dynamics change as well and this can cause some friendships/relationships to end. I guess this can be applicable to any type of personal growth or change. There are going to be relationships that are sustainable through that change and those that are not. Only time will tell.
I rode past a church yesterday and their banner said Challenged by Faith, Guided by God. Pretty much sums up my feelings today. Happy Sunday folks.
